hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
