who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
