Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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