The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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