he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
