but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
