the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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