In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
