i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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