I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
