I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
