Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
