so that wasnt chicken after all
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
