hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
