I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
