the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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