You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
