I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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