I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
FUCK WHALES
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
