we're blogging at a bar
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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