I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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