I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
im holly from the hills drunk
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
