I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
