Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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