I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
