I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
