i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
