I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
