we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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