I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I understand Curling. That high.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
