Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
