There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Can I color on your dick again?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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