Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
