Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Randomize
