no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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