smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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