Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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