well you can't waste a boner
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
