yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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