btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
