i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
