So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
