so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
