No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
