do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I wish there were birth control emojis
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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