Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
