I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
