Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
