Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
