Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
