Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just pee around me
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
